I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
