like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
