im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
