my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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