So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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