I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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