Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
