I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
