How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
