she was so not down for the gang bang
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
