i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
