Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
