Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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