All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
