fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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