my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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