Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
