He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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