tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
