im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
