Cold hands, warm shart.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
