Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
