can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
