Soap is not a condiment
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
