I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
