I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
