I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
