My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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