my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
