you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
