Dual....:-)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
