The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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