Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
