Do vagina's smell?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
