oh god the rape fog is back!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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