he shaved USA in his pubs
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
