He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
