sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
