We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
