i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
