They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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