Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
