is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
