Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
