I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
