He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
