I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
