I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
