I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
