You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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