I didn't shave. On purpose
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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