we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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