is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
